Divorce is often portrayed as an emotional and adversarial process, marked by prolonged conflict, financial strain, and uncertainty. In reality, however, not every separation has to unfold that way. In an interview with CJAD 800, Shulman & Partners LLP explored whether it is possible to navigate divorce in a more constructive and less contentious manner. The discussion addressed common misconceptions about divorce, including the assumption that conflict is inevitable, and examined the practical factors that influence how smoothly a separation can proceed. From emotional readiness and timing to communication strategies and dispute resolution options, the interview shed light on how families can approach separation with clarity and intention. These insights are particularly relevant for couples seeking to minimize emotional and financial costs while focusing on long-term stability, especially when children are involved.
The interview focused on a central question many separating couples ask: can divorce ever be relatively drama-free? According to Shulman & Partners LLP, the answer is yes, but it depends largely on how and when the separation process begins, as well as the mindset of both parties.
A key factor is emotional readiness. When couples have already emotionally processed the end of their relationship, discussions tend to centre more on resolving legal and financial issues rather than rehashing personal grievances. In these circumstances, the separation itself often signals acceptance that the marriage has ended, allowing both parties to focus on next steps rather than blame.
The interview also addressed the role of separation as a transitional stage. Many couples begin by separating before formally pursuing divorce, sometimes while still living under the same roof. While reconciliation can occur in rare cases, the interview noted that, in practice, most separations ultimately lead to divorce once legal processes begin. Reconciliation tends to occur when couples decide to make renewed efforts for reasons such as children, forgiveness following infidelity, or a commitment to counselling.
For those considering divorce, early legal advice was emphasized as critical. Consulting a family lawyer at the outset helps individuals understand their rights, obligations, and options, and provides strategic guidance during an emotionally charged time. While mediation can be a useful tool, it was noted that mediators are neutral facilitators rather than advocates. As such, having independent legal advice alongside mediation ensures that agreements reached are reasonable and protect one’s interests.
Communication also plays a major role. In some cases, informing a spouse of the intention to separate before involving lawyers can help reduce shock and defensiveness, paving the way for a more cooperative process. That said, the interview acknowledged that this approach depends heavily on the existing relationship dynamic and may not be appropriate in every situation.
The discussion also touched on common sources of conflict, including infidelity. While emotionally significant, infidelity generally does not affect legal outcomes such as spousal support or property division. Focusing on legal issues rather than moral fault can help prevent prolonged disputes and unnecessary legal costs.
Finally, practical steps for minimizing conflict were highlighted, including staying child-focused, avoiding inflammatory communication, being organized with financial disclosure, and considering parenting coordination where ongoing disputes arise. Clear, detailed agreements reduce ambiguity and help prevent future conflict.
Listen to the full CJAD 800 segment here.
This media appearance is part of Shulman & Partners LLP’s ongoing contributions to Canadian family law discussions. Explore more of our media features in our In the Media archive.