Not every divorce is mired by deception and disagreements, but there are exes who try to make their income and assets – disappear! Furthermore, it can be really disheartening after a long relationship to hear that your spouse – who you thought you knew – is finding excuses to keep every cent that they have.
Trying to prove income can be very challenging, but there are some preliminary things you can look out for if you suspect that your ex is lying about assets.
Look for the subtle differences
If your ex-spouse is the type to talk openly about money, bonuses, purchases, etc., pay attention to see if that sort of talk has turned into more of a whisper.
When you try to discuss financial responsibilities or obligations, are they open for a transparent chat or do they suddenly seem to brush you off or say, “I’ll take care of it,” to get you to stop asking questions? Are they backing off their usual habits and responsibilities? Are you finding yourself covering more of the financial load than normal?
Actions speak louder than words
Your ex may be acting a little differently as well. Do you find they tend to be more secretive or guarded than usual? How about the mail? Who usually gets it? Has that changed? Has the amount or type of mail changed? Perhaps you usually get offers for credit cards and subscriptions but recently, you only seem to get bills. A change in the household financial activity level could be the sign of finances being diverted into a different direction.
Sometimes exes will hide bank statements, receipts, and account-related paperwork. If receipts are almost always kept in one drawer, but there haven’t been new receipts added for weeks or months, that could be a clue that they are trying to hide the disposable income they have. These tactics can be an intentional change by a spouse to keep finances out-of-mind, or to hide specific expenses that could tip off their mate.
Have any joint passwords changed? Maybe there are new expense limits imposed at financial institutions or a limit to your access on certain accounts or memberships?
In many cases, a spouse will begin to physically divide assets well in advance of the move because you won’t notice that the item is missing.
Whatever the circumstances, the basic fact is that something isn’t right and you’ve noticed it. If you don’t like the answers that you’re given to the questions above, it may be time to contact an investigator, your lawyer, or both.