My Spouse Is Lying! I Think…

One of the biggest problems in any relationship is trust. Once it is lost it can be almost impossible to regain. Losing it can be the result of a factual incident, a misunderstanding, or the influence of an outside party who may or may not have sincere intent. So what do you do? What can you do?

Lying is not a new concept. It has been around about as long as people have, and it is done for all sorts of reasons. People tell little lies to each other all of the time; sometimes to help someone feel better about themselves, or sometimes to get a reaction. Similarly, all humans have “tells”. They’re not always easy to read or easy to define, but they always exist. A “tell” is an expression, body movement, involuntary action, or other physiological change which occurs when a person engages in a behaviour such as lying. One doesn’t plan to have this reaction, and in some cases, it can be very quick and very difficult to track.

Over the years as a private investigator, I’ve seen a great many of these “tells” manifest themselves, and truthfully said, a qualified investigator with successful undercover experience will tell you that we mentally register these little actions every day as we talk to people, interview people, interact with people, and extract information from people, even if we’re not looking for them. You do it too, you just don’t always know it. For example: you can tell when talking to your child if they are lying about something because their mannerisms changes. The bigger the secret, the harder it is to hide from you, especially for younger children. As we grow, we learn ways to cover these “tells”, but we can’t hide all of them all of the time.

There are numerous methods that can be used to extract information or find the answer to a question, but I wouldn’t recommend trying to conduct your own investigation if you think your spouse is hiding something big. If your suspicions are wrong, your actions could end up unnecessarily hurting your relationship. Alternatively, you may want to consider hiring a qualified private investigator with the right skill sets. A good investigation firm has extensive research capabilities and highly trained investigators who can successfully complete undercover assignments, read body language, and extract information. There is plenty of new technology available to help P.I.s get the job done, but they can always go the old fashion route and conduct surveillance to see firsthand what is really going on.

Life can be complicated, and although finding answers is not always easy, there are always options available to you.