iHeart Radio: Holiday Co-Parenting Conflicts - Featuring Laura Paris, Shulman & Partners

In a interview for iHeartRadio, Laura Paris, Associate Lawyer at Shulman & Partners LLP, addressed a growing seasonal challenge: the “weaponization” of the holidays in high-conflict divorces. The festive season can be emotionally charged for separated parents, with disputes often arising over how children’s time is divided. Laura shared insights on how these conflicts unfold, why early planning is key, and how families can minimize harm to children. Drawing on her experience as both a family lawyer and a parent, she underscored the importance of separating personal grievances from parenting responsibilities and prioritizing children’s well-being during what should be a joyful time of year.

“If you have the ability to put your love for your children over your disdain for your ex, you’re going to make the right decisions.”
— Laura Paris, Associate Lawyer at Shulman & Partners LLP

The holiday season, meant to bring joy and togetherness, can instead become a source of conflict for divorced or separated families. In her interview, Laura discussed how some parents inadvertently or intentionally use this time to create tension, often by withholding access to children or refusing to cooperate with agreed-upon parenting schedules. These emotional decisions can turn festive celebrations into battlegrounds, harming not only co-parenting relationships but also children’s sense of stability.

Laura explained that many of these disputes stem from the difficulty of accepting new traditions after separation. Parents accustomed to spending every Christmas morning with their children may struggle to let go of that routine. However, she reminded listeners that separation inevitably changes family traditions, and adapting to those changes can create new, positive experiences for both parents and children.

Beyond disputes between parents, Laura also noted that older or more independent children can introduce their own challenges. Courts begin to consider children’s wishes as they grow older, often around age twelve, but problems arise when those opinions have been influenced by one parent. This can lead to parental alienation, a deeply damaging situation where a child’s views are shaped by one parent’s negative portrayal of the other.

Laura emphasized that proactive communication is key to avoiding holiday disputes. She recommended that separated parents start planning their holiday arrangements as early as September or October to avoid last-minute conflicts. When cooperation fails, court intervention may be necessary, but Laura stressed that this should always be a last resort.

Reflecting on her own experience as both a lawyer and a parent, Laura acknowledged the emotional difficulty of these cases. She shared that empathy and realism guide her approach—recognizing that every family is unique and that the law can only go so far in resolving personal conflicts. The ultimate goal, she said, should always be to ensure that children’s needs come first and that parents remain focused on maintaining stability and love through the holidays.

Listen to the full iHeart Radio segment here.

This media appearance is part of Shulman & Partners LLP’s ongoing contributions to Canadian family law discussions. Explore more of our media features in our In the Media  archive.