A Change of Heart: Divorce & the Season of Love

February 7, 2024
Erika Holter

Article written by Erika Holter

For many, the month of February invites feelings of romance thanks to Valentine’s Day. In addition to being a month aligned with romantic dinners and heart-shaped chocolates, February also falls right in the middle of ‘Divorce Season’, a period known in family law circles as being a high time for divorces. In fact, here at Shulman & Partners, we see a 30% increase in divorce inquiries between January and March, as Associate Lawyer, Laura Paris, discusses in this recent CHCH interview.

What is Causing these Changes of Heart?

If you feel that Cupid's arrow missed its mark this Valentine's Day, know that you aren't alone. So, what exactly is it about February, often hailed as the month of love, that brings about a heightened interest in divorce? 

Woman holding crumpled heart cutout representing broken relationship.

One main factor is the aftermath of the holiday season. The pressures and expectations that come with family gatherings can intensify issues within a marriage. Couples may attempt to maintain an image of happiness during the festive season, only to reach a breaking point once the holiday decorations come down, and the credit card bills come pouring in.

Valentine’s Day itself can also bring up unresolved issues. As couples exchange romantic gestures and heartfelt gifts, they may realize the difference between idealized love and the reality of their marriage.

Finally, the start of a new year often brings with it a desire for a fresh start. The new year can even fuel the courage needed to initiate significant life changes. This may include shedding a relationship that is no longer working for you. 

What To Do When Cupid’s Arrow Misses Its Mark:

Now that you know you aren't alone in how you feel, what comes next? The decision to divorce is not one that should be taken lightly. However, while it can be daunting, it is also liberating. Here are 7 strategies to make the process as seamless as possible.

Couple sitting at home talking, having conversation.

#1: Maintain Open Communication

During tough times, open communication is key. We understand that this is easier said than done when faced with marital problems. That being said, when divorce is on the table, open and honest communication will make a world of difference. You may even seek professional mediation services to help facilitate these difficult conversations. 

#2: Seek Professional Guidance

There is no need to face this journey alone. Consulting with a specialized family lawyer can provide clarity and valuable insights on the legal aspects of divorce. Keep in mind that a consultation doesn't set anything in stone. Rather, it unlocks access to experts that can guide you through what to expect from the separation and divorce process. They also ensure that your rights are protected and can help you make informed decisions about property division, child custody, and spousal support. 


#3: Lean on Your Support System

Surround yourself with friends and family who care about your well-being. Share your feelings with trusted confidantes who can provide empathy and support. Having a strong support system is invaluable during times of heartbreak.

Attentive african american lady comforting her upset crying girlfriend or sister, giving her hug, saying supportive words.

#4: Take Time for Self-Reflection and Growth

While the process of separation and divorce depend on a strong support system, this is also a time to prioritize YOU! Take this time to engage in self-reflection. What did you learn from the marriage? What changes do you want for your future? Use these insights to explore your interests, set personal goals, and focus on becoming the best version of yourself. 

#5: Prioritize Self-Care

Divorce can be a highly emotional journey, and it's crucial for you to take care of yourself throughout the journey. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to navigate the emotional complexities of separation. Taking care of your mental and emotional well-being is essential for a smoother transition.

#6: Focus on the Future

It's easy to get caught up in the what-ifs. Instead, shift your focus to the present moment. Setting realistic goals and envisioning a positive future can help you move forward with purpose. 

asian woman with brunette ponytail draws a heart shape use lipstick on the mirror and look at herself feeling confident self love

#7: Establish Realistic Expectations

Healing takes time, and it's normal to feel a wide range of emotions. Everyone heals at their own pace, so avoid rushing the process. Instead, set realistic expectations for your emotional recovery and allow the healing process to unfold naturally.

Divorce Can be a Challenging Chapter…But It’s Not the End of the Story

For couples facing divorce, approaching the process with a positive outlook can help ease the emotional burden. A healthy mindset lays the foundation for a future where you will find the happiness you deserve. By seeking professional guidance, prioritizing open communication, focusing on self-care, and envisioning a positive future, you can navigate this divorce season with resilience and emerge stronger on the other side. We are here for you!