Back-to-School Routines for Co-Parenting Success

As much as summer in Canada is a beautiful and magical time, there is something very exciting and empowering about the start of a new school year. The cool, crisp air signals a fresh start for children and parents alike. It’s a time to set new goals, make new friends, and embrace new learning opportunities. For families who are co-parenting, this season is also a chance to set up routines that will set your children up for a successful year.

For children whose parents are separated or divorced, having a routine isn’t just about following a schedule. It gives them a sense of stability and safety, even when things feel uncertain. Consistent routines are key to making sure kids can do well in school, feel good emotionally, and have time for fun. Whether co-parents get along well or have a more challenging relationship, it’s important to build a routine that works for the child.

Embracing Routines as Part of Your Back-to-School Plan

Children thrive on routine. And when kids are going back and forth between two homes, it’s even more important to have that consistency. Knowing when they will wake up, do homework, and go to bed makes them feel more secure and helps them focus on what’s important—like doing well in school.

Creating Routines with an Amicable Co-parent

If you and your co-parent have a good relationship, creating a routine can be a team effort. Here are four strategies to help keep both households on track.

1. Use a Shared Calendar

Having a shared calendar, either online or on paper, can help keep track of important dates like school events, sports, and appointments. This makes sure both parents know what’s going on and you can plan around your child’s schedule.

2. Set a Homework Time

It’s important to have a set time for homework in both homes. This helps your child stay on track with their studies and builds good habits. Both parents should agree on this schedule to make sure it’s consistent, no matter where the child is.

3. Coordinate Extracurricular Activities

Things like sports, music lessons, or clubs are great but can be hard to organize. Parents should work together to decide how to handle these activities, making sure the child can attend without any issues. Taking turns with driving the child to activities can also help both parents balance their time.

4. Agree on Consistent Bedtimes and Morning Routines

Transitioning from summer to the school year can be tricky, especially if kids are used to staying up late. Parents should agree on a set bedtime and wake-up time that’s the consistent in both homes. This will help ensure your child gets enough sleep and is ready for school each day.

Creating Routines in High-conflict Situations

If your co-parenting relationship is more difficult because of conflicts, setting up a routine might be harder. That being said, the child’s well-being is still the most important thing, and there are ways to make it work. Here are some tips for those who may struggle with their co-parenting relationship. 

1. Use a Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a document that lays out the child’s schedule and how things will work between parents. It can help avoid arguments by giving clear rules and responsibilities, like who picks up the child from school or who attends certain events. If disagreements crop up, you can refer to the plan. Contact a family lawyer to help set up a parenting plan that works for you. 

2. Communicate through Apps or Emails

If talking face-to-face leads to arguments, you can use co-parenting apps (like OurFamilyWizard or Cozi) or email to keep communication focused on your child’s schedule. This helps avoid misunderstandings and keeps things civil.

3. Stick to Court Orders

If the court has made any rules about custody or visitation, it’s important to follow them. Sticking to these orders will help keep things smooth and make sure both parents know what to expect.

4. Parallel Parenting

If communicating with each other is too hard, parallel parenting might be a good option. In this case, each parent runs their home separately, following the court’s orders, without needing to interact with the other parent. This allows the child to benefit from both parents being involved without too much conflict.

Starting the School Year Off Right

At Shulman & Partners, we understand that co-parenting can present unique challenges, especially as families transition into the school year. Whether you're establishing new routines or navigating post-divorce changes, we are here to support you every step of the way. Our experienced team is committed to helping you create a stable, healthy environment for your children, no matter the complexity of your situation. Reach out to us today for guidance and solutions tailored to your needs.