The Cost of Love: Part 2- Preparing the Relationship for Cohabitation and Marriage

February 16, 2022
Jackie Porter

Article written by Jackie Porter

Important Money Talks to Have on the Next Stage of Your Relationship Journey

Sometimes having the money talk can feel awkward, especially in romantic relationships. Remember many of us don’t learn about money in school. Depending on how we grew up and what types of conversations we were exposed to, this can affect how we feel about money later. Ask yourself, what type of relationship do you have with money today? Were you comfortable having money conversations with your partner during the dating process? If you are taking the next step in building a future with your new love, read this. Learn how to tackle the money conversation with your partner as your relationship grows to the next level.

Money Conversation 1

Are We Financially Ready to Move In Together?

Assuming you are already at the stage that you can’t seem to fight the loving feeling the answer may already be yes. But hold on for a moment. Ask yourself, what do you know about your partners financial circumstances? Would this be something you are willing to roll the dice on and find out about later? How would you feel if you learned your partner was tackling serious debt? If you are thinking about taking the next step now is the time to have a heart to heart about the state of each other’s finances.

Start this conversation by coming clean first and discussing your overall financial situation including the good the bad and the ugly. Talk about the goals you would like to share with your partner and encourage them to share as well. Hint: If your partner is cagey about talking about money you may want them to understand that being able to talk about money is important to you and you will want to know you can have these conversations before taking the relationship to the next level. This is an important area of the relationship to work on, as one of the major reasons couples break up is around money. Chances are, you will need to talk about money many times over the course of your relationship.

Money Conversation 2

Do we need to consider drafting a Cohab, Pre or Post Nup Agreement?

It is certainly one thing to fall in love, get married or move in together, coming out of college. It is a totally different matter if you are contemplating a new partnership after a divorce or later in your life. There is often so much more at stake. Perhaps you have had to part with a significant portion of your assets coming out of a divorce. You may also have child support and spousal support obligations to keep up with as well. You may also be wondering how you will ever afford to retire. And yet, here you are, prepared to make a commitment to the object of your affection, even after suffering a crushing financial and emotional loss coming out of your past relationship. Recognizing that no one ever comes into a relationship expecting it to fail, what would a broken relationship do to your finances? More importantly

CAN YOU AFFORD IT? A prenup, post nup or cohabitation agreement with your new love means your finances have a chance to be left intact in case the relationship unravels in the future. Keep in mind, this agreement will protect your new love too…

Money Conversation 3

Do I need Help in Facilitating a Conversation with My Partner?

If you are struggling with having these conversations on your own get help. You don’t have to face have crucial money conversations on your own. Enlist the services of a family law or financial professional to help you facilitate these conversations with your partner. For example, if you are contemplating adding your new partner to your will this is a great opportunity to get your family lawyer involved. Or maybe you would like to build a financial plan that takes into consideration your financial goals as a couple. A financial advisor can help you tackle your financial strengths and weaknesses as a team and offer practical solutions to get you there. Keep in mind, tackling important money conversations right from the beginning will pay dividends in your relationship for many years to come.