Holiday Co-Parenting Schedules

While many welcome the arrival of the holiday season, this time of year can present unique challenges for co-parents navigating the realities of separation or divorce. The holidays, often associated with joy, togetherness, and cherished traditions, can feel like a balancing act of dividing time, managing expectations, and ensuring the well-being of everyone involved. All of this while trying to provide a magical experience for your children.

To make the holidays harmonious, thoughtful preparation is essential. With the right approach, the holiday season can become not just a time of celebration, but an opportunity to demonstrate resilience, cooperation, and love. Here’s how to navigate the season with compassion and practical strategies that put your children first.

Parenting Plans and Holiday Harmony

A well-thought-out parenting plan serves as the foundation for a stress-free holiday season, providing clarity and structure for both parents and children. By defining clear arrangements in advance, you minimize confusion, avoid last-minute conflicts, and ensure the focus remains on creating joyful experiences for your children. Here are some key elements to consider when crafting or refining your holiday parenting plan.

1. Set Specific Dates and Times

Detailing exactly when and where your children will spend each holiday is crucial. This includes specifying start and end times to prevent misunderstandings. Common approaches include:

• Alternating Holidays: One parent has the children for a particular holiday this year, and the other parent has them the following year.
• Splitting the Day: Divide the holiday so the children can celebrate with both parents, for example, spending Christmas morning with one parent and the evening with the other.

Being precise in your planning ensures both parents are on the same page and helps children know what to expect.

2. Account for Travel Plans

If travel is necessary, it’s important to consider the logistics of transportation and associated costs. Decide in advance who will handle drop-offs and pick-ups to avoid last-minute confusion or disagreements. Additionally, discuss how travel-related expenses, such as flights, gas, or other costs, will be shared between both parents. By addressing these practical details early, you can minimize stress and ensure the focus remains on creating an enjoyable and memorable holiday season for everyone involved.

3. Include Extended Family Considerations

Holidays are often about bringing extended families together. If grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins wish to see the children, include their involvement in the plan when possible.

Especially when working to accommodate large families, consider coordinating visits on non-holiday days to spread out the celebrations. Balancing extended family time ensures your children can maintain meaningful relationships with loved ones from both sides of the family.

By establishing a comprehensive parenting plan and maintaining open communication, you set the stage for a holiday season that is enjoyable, predictable, and focused on what matters most: creating happy memories for your children.

Celebrating Together: Is It Right for Your Family?

For some families, the idea of spending holidays together as co-parents may seem daunting, but it can be a meaningful option under the right circumstances.

• Assess Your Relationship: Shared celebrations may be worth exploring if you and your co-parent can maintain a cordial, respectful relationship.
• Establish Boundaries: Before the holiday, agree on logistics, such as where to celebrate, how to divide responsibilities, and whether new partners will be included.
• Focus on the Children: Keep the day child-centric, prioritizing their enjoyment and comfort over any personal differences.

When successful, shared celebrations can provide continuity and reinforce the importance of family bonds, even in a redefined context. However, this arrangement is not suitable for every family, so approach it thoughtfully and prioritize emotional well-being.

When You Don’t Have the Kids for the Holidays

Not having your children with you on a holiday can feel difficult, but it’s important to remember that the spirit of the season isn’t tied to a single date. You can still create meaningful moments in different ways.

Consider celebrating on another day by planning a “second holiday” before or after the official one. Activities like decorating, opening gifts, or sharing a festive meal can be just as joyful when done later. Staying connected virtually is another great option—schedule a video call to exchange greetings, read a story together, or even watch a favorite holiday movie at the same time (check out our recent blog for movie inspiration). These small efforts can help maintain a sense of togetherness, even from afar.

Finally, use the time apart to focus on self-care. Rest, reflect, or engage in activities that bring you joy. You might spend time with friends, volunteer in your community, or treat yourself to something special. By reframing the situation as a chance for creativity and renewal, you can approach the holidays with resilience and a positive outlook.

Embracing the Spirit of the Season

Co-parenting during the holidays may come with its challenges, but with preparation, communication, and a focus on your children’s happiness, it’s possible to create a joyful and meaningful season for all. Whether you’re navigating new traditions, celebrating on a different day, or exploring shared festivities, the holidays offer an opportunity to foster connection, resilience, and love in your family.

From all of us at Shulman & Partners, we wish you and your loved ones a healthy, safe, and joyful holiday season!