Separation & Moving: Reducing Stress on Children

One of the biggest sources of stress for separating parents is setting up separate households. Parents worry about the impact of change upon their kids. This may include attending different schools and the loss of available friends. Social media may help keep people in touch. It cannot, however replace the direct contact and the socializing that occurs by doing things together.

More troubling still, is when one parents seeks to move far enough way so as to make a frequent exchange of parenting time impossible. The upheaval and change can be experienced differently and managed differently depending upon the age and financial resources of the parents.These are complex matters.

Arrangements achieved between parents themselves tend to best meet everyone’s interests. They are more often better followed and longer lasting. Working with lawyers who work for the interests of all involved versus the position of one over another can result in the most live-able agreement. Notice, the word “live-able” is not “like-able”. The thing about negotiated agreements is finding something everyone can live with. This in turn is often better that a court ordered outcome. One or both may not only find the agreement not “like-able”, but barely “live-able” too.

Negotiations and Finances

It can be helpful to consider the financial cost of facilitating time and the relationship of the children with the parent at a distance. Especially when sorting out the parenting plan between parents who live far apart. Both parents must keep in mind that it remains the obligation of them both to facilitate the children’s relationship. This can include a financial obligation.

Your lawyer will be familiar with case law as it pertains to these matters. You may think that if you go to court you can do better than what you may achieve through negotiation. However, court is always a gamble and can be a tremendous expense.

While you may not think your co-parent will negotiate or while the process may be challenging, being resolved to settle these matters peacefully can be worth the hard work involved. For goodness sake, don’t ever believe court is an easier option.

The best way to reduce stress on children whether nearby move or cross-country, settle the matter as peacefully as possible.

Shulman & Partners LLP lawyers are here to assist with any necessary arrangements, book a consultation today.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW is a Canadian Social Worker in private practice. He is recognized from his 65 episodes of the hit show Newlywed/Nearly Dead, to over 650 columns as the parenting expert of a major metropolitan newspaper, to more than 350 media appearances, to his book, Marriage Rescue: Overcoming ten deadly sins in failing relationships. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert in social work, marital and family therapy, child development, parent-child relations and custody and access matters He speaks at conferences and workshops throughout Canada and the US and helps family peacemakers grow their practice.