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Article written by Erika Holter
When children have to change schools as part of the divorce process, it can add another layer of stress and uncertainty to an already complicated situation. Children thrive on routine and familiarity. Moving to a new school means leaving behind known teachers, friends, and a comfortable environment. However, it is a reality that many families need to face when navigating a separation or divorce. Despite the added challenges, with careful planning and supportive co-parenting, transitioning schools can be a positive experience. In the following article, get ready for back to school with these helpful tips on smoothly transitioning schools for your children.
Tips for School Transitions
Whether you're child is moving schools partway through the year, or else they are starting fresh in September; it is important for co-parents to support their kids during this overwhelming transition. Below are helpful tips to ensure you and your co-parent can work together so that your child effectively adjusts to this significant change.
1. Present a United Parenting Front
Working together as co-parents is crucial. Keep communication open and respectful and try to make joint decisions about the new school to show a united front. To fully integrate your family in the new school, both parents should attend all school meetings and events. Depending on your co-parenting relationship, you might to choose to go together. However, attending separately is also an effective way of showing your support. An opportunity to receive updates about how your child is adapting to their new school, your attendance at these meetings and events also reassures them that both parents are still involved and committed to their education like they were prior to the divorce.
2. Visit the School Together
Before your child's first day, visit the new school together. Review the route they will be taking to school (whether it is by bus, walking, bike etc.). Explore the classrooms, playground, and other areas. If your child is starting partway through the school year, you might even consider stopping by their new class so they can briefly meet their teachers and classmates before their official first day!
3. Understand Your Child’s Perspective
Changing schools can be scary for kids. Be empathic to these big changes. Listen to their concerns and feelings. Encourage them to talk about what excites them and what worries them about the new school. Validate their feelings and reassure them that it’s normal to feel nervous.
4. Be Prepared for Challenges
Children might experience behavioral changes while transitioning schools. For example, you might notice that they seem more anxious or that they are starting to act out. Both co-parents should be aware of these changes, actively monitoring their behaviour and talking to them about how they are feeling. Keep in regular contact with teachers to monitor your child’s progress and address any issues quickly. If more support is still needed, seek help from school counselors or child psychologists who can provide additional support during this difficult transition.
Making a Difference at Home
1. Consistency is key
While children adjust to changing schools following their parents' divorce, keeping other routines consistent can prevent them from becoming too overwhelmed. To create a sense of stability at home, maintain routines such as consistent bedtimes, meal times, and homework schedules. If you and your co-parent are able to do so, enforcing the same routine across both households is ultimately the best way to invoke stability.
2. Staying Positive
Children often take cues from their parents' attitudes. Show them that you are positive and optimistic about the exciting opportunities and friends they will make a their new school.
3. Encourage Involvement
Being the new kid at school can make it challenging to fit in. A great way to help your child make new friends and feel more connected to the school community is through school activities and clubs. Together, sit down with your child and consider their interests. Make a list of extracurriculars they want to try and encourage them to get involved.
4. Communicate Regularly
All co-parenting relationships are different, but one thing remains the same: communication is key. It is important to share updates about your child's progress and any concerns you might have so both parents can provide their unique support as they make this difficult transition.
Overcoming School Transition Hurdles Together as a Family
Changing schools after a separation or divorce can be a challenging experience for children, and by extension you, their parent. However, with collaborative co-parenting, preparation, and support, you can help your children navigate this transition smoothly.
A Shulman & Partners we are committed to helping you navigate all the aspects of your separation and/or divorce. As a practice that specializes exclusively in family law, we provide compassionate guidance to ensure your family's well-being during these transitions. Let us support you in creating a positive path forward for your child.